About me is back...

My last "About Me" was posted before our Cancun trip and since then life has been soooo crazy that I haven't gotten back to it....until now....so here we go!

#10: A letter to a person who has caused you pain

Okay so this is kind of a weird one to do and I've been trying to decide to do it seriously or make it a joke. I decided to take the serious route.

I've been trying to think of a person who has caused me pain. Now because I believe I had a pretty "regular" childhood and I was at one point an emotional teen, I have dealt with a variety of what I thought was "pain" at the time. Which includes: being teased, picked on, left out, called names, gossiped about, laughed at and the list continues. I assume that most kids experience some of this at some point and that's just part of being a kid.
Now as an adult, I think of pain as something waaaay more intense than quarrels you have as kid over whose gets to "be the mom" when you play house. When I think of pain, I don't necessarily picture physical pain but rather emotional pain.
I have been blessed to be surrounded by many wonderful people including: obviously....Brock, my parents and Brock's parents, our families, friends and neighbors. All these people take great care of us and love us. I do however have one person who at one point was part of this list and it saddens me to have that person(s) out of my life. So this letter is to that person....


Dear Friend,


Looking back on our time together I have many great memories that we shared. We became friends quickly and I loved to be with you and your family. I respected your advice as you helped me set goals and pushed me to better my self. Because you were quite a bit older than I was you helped me navigate through "landmark" decisions and I could always be completely honest with you about my feelings and concerns. I loved that you would be honest with me and your thoughts about the direction I was taking my life...because that's what a real friend does. You and your family were a part of those "big" events in my life and that always meant a lot to me.
You treated me as if I was family and in return I viewed you as mine. It was always a pleasure to be a part of your family and involved in your lives. You trusted me with your greatest treasures which in result became my treasures.
As years went by we didn't get to spend as much time together because of distance and the craziness of life. When time came and I could spend time with you and the family, it saddened me to see that you had changed in a drastic way. Perhaps it wasn't just you who had changed but I had also changed or I guess you could say I "grew up".
It was rather disconcerting to me as I watched as our friendship diminished and became a thing of the past. I realized that we were totally different people with as opposite views as you can have on almost EVERY topic possible. The only thing we agreed on was your how wonderful your family was.
How we ended our friendship broke my heart, I still can't believe the words you said to me. The hurtful and hateful things that you said to me are the words you would say to an enemy. I guess that's what I had become to you.
 After these many years, I'm over you and our friendship. I realize now that you were mostly a bully and that the real problem was that you didn't like the adult I became...you know...with thoughts, feelings and a husband. Looking back on those early days and what I thought was advice was really just pushy ways to get what you wanted.
I guess the part that hurts the most is the abruptness of it all and the irrational manor that it came about. Also, in all reality it's not even you I miss but the idea of our friendship that we had. The pain you caused me wasn't the severing of our friendship but separating me from your family. That is really saddest part and I think you knew that...actually, I know you knew that. You wanted to hurt me and that is how you did it-removing me from their lives.
Well, congratulations old friend you succeeded, I miss them more than words can say. I wish I could see them or talk to them but memories will just have to do.
I hold hardly any hard feelings towards you anymore and in all seriousness I hope you are well and happy, not for you but for them.
Best Wishes,
Kim
 a.k.a: your personal rag doll
P.S. Please give Bear and Boo my love.